don't FORGET the TONIC

"where's da' baby?"

Here's a lethal combination: gin + Idris Elba + Michael Pitt + me. Shake, stir, and serve. It's going to go down smooth.

No, but seriously all innuendos aside whose brilliant idea was this to combine some of my favorite actors with my favorite drink of choice? I hate that guy whoever he is. He's an enabler of the highest order!

Although I'm a diehard Bombay Sapphire kind of girl (yes, I enjoy the drink of men thrice my age), I could consider the junipers for a night or two after seeing this ever-so convincing ad campaign.

I mean, that is the point Tanqueray was trying to make by slapping Michael and Idris' picture all over Harlem and Williamsburg, respectively, no? To get my Black female hipster a** excited and sloppy drunk, right?

::gulp:: Well, fuck, they did a good job. Consider me a convert.

But what's next? Jon Hamm peddling me chai lattes? Pharrell hawking mascara, while singing to me in his trademark falsetto? Oh, wait. He already does that (see below).

But like, I can't. Stop playing with my emotions! I'm only human. I'm not a "target audience" you can just manipulate with beautiful, beautiful men and tasty liquor.

Ugh, who am I kidding. Yes, I am.